10 years ago~

On this day 10 years ago, I was filled with more gratitude than I could handle. My bucket was so full of wonderful experiences, kind friends and family and some of the hardest days of my life.

I am thankful for the little memories that pop up and remind me of the hard things I went through, and how I made it to the other side.

To this day, I still struggle with the side effects of cancer and the treatments that made me well. I would like to say "awe, everything is ok now" but in reality, things are just different.

So for anyone out there that is going through a rough patch, I see you, I feel for you and I am right there with you.

Thank you for being in my life.

18 Months~

As I was trying to doze off last night, I thought about the last 18 months of my life. Each and every event flashed before my eyes. Here are a few of the things that kept me awake.

I have...

Endured a breast cancer diagnosis, cried and cried, was in a state of shock, went through test after test to see if it had spread, and it did.

Had a double mastectomy and 22 lymph nodes removed all positive for cancer.

Received 16 rounds of chemo, killed every cell from my nose to my toes, lost my hair, lost my appetite and lost weight.

Pretty sure I lost my mind, I had bouts of depression and anxiety.

Went through 33 days of radiation to kill more cancer cells and had the biggest radiation burn under my arm.

Felt the most overwhelming fatigue, the kind that won't go away with taking a nap, the kind you just want to stay on the couch or in bed.

Side effects, oh my, the side effects.

I have tried alternative/integrative medicine to help with my side effects and to deal with my emotional and physical pain.

Then I thought about the best part of this experience...

I have found kindness and compassion from the caregivers. With each new medication came a list of side effects which I seem to have at least half of them.The doctors listened to me and helped with the side effects.

Throughout the last 18 months I have found strength in numbers.

Strength in the prayer warriors from coast to coast that prayed for me and my family.

Strength from my friends and family that took time out of their busy days to bring us meals and groceries, take me to my appointments, sit with me at chemo, visit with my family, and kind words of encouragement.

Strength from my care team, the doctors and nurses, my physical therapist, the exercise coach...all of them worked together to make me whole again.

To anyone else that is going through this experience, it takes time to heal both emotionally and physically. If you know someone going through cancer, pray for them, be there for them and listen to them...that's what they need most.

October is the month dedicated to breast cancer awareness. Pink everywhere. Wear your pink with pride and remember, you are making a difference in the lives of all breast cancer patients. Support the cause and support the cure.

Most of all I just wanted to say thank you again for being there for our family. Your kindness was appreciated.

I love you all and I am so blessed.