Sweat and growing~

Pretty much everyday I go to the rec center and do some kind of cardio to sweat out 

feelings and moods and attitude and just really sweat.

I wake in the middle of the night and think about things.  I worry about the

person I used to be, the things I said and was way I acted.

I wonder why I was like that.

What in my bringing up made me react to things the way I do.

I ask god all the time what is my purpose in life.  Why was I put here on earth.

I think and I pray and I wonder who I am and what am I doing here.

My life has thrown me a few curve balls.  I have eventually caught them and thrown them

back, but I wonder what lessons I am getting from this game of life.

Raising my 2 boys was the ultimate job in my life.  I take pride in how they turned

out.  Kind and caring boys.

I think about my upbringing.  I think about the people in my life that molded me into the

person I am today.  Why does god put those people in my life and then take them away.

It it so I will take the tiny things they taught me and use them and then move on?

I miss my friends, family, and daily happenings so much.  I miss visiting my parents

and feeding them lunch and doing their laundry.

My parents were wonderful people in their community and now I feel like their life is 

on a downward spiral and they will never know how much they meant to every life they 

touched.

Dear God...please help me again remember my purpose in my life and direct me down the path.

Help me to stay focused and kind and caring and faithful.

Hold my hand as I have strayed a little in my direction.

Love always,  Susan