Finding Joy~

 I am finding Joy in this holiday season.  Everything from shopping to eating to baking to decorating to watching christmas movies.  Why not?  The past 2 years have taken a toll on my Joy.  Actually the past 6 years have.  In 2014 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and that year I went through chemo and radiation and boy did it take a toll on my body and my mind.  Everything was a struggle.  Remembering was hard, recovery was hard, thinking was hard, exercise was hard.  The only thing that was easy were the tears.  They came easily.  Time, I told myself to give it time to heal.  

2 years ago we put my parents into assisted living.  My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers.  She needed a place to stay that would keep her safe.  A few months later my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers.  Such a blow!!!!  They quickly moved from a 2 bedroom to a 1 bedroom apartment and then to memory care...all within the first year of living there.  Kristin and I would go up weekly and spend the day with them.  It brought me Joy to give them a haircut, do their laundry and just visit with them.  Then this crappy covid thing hit and everyone was put in lockdown.  No more visits, no more haircuts, no more lunches in the dining hall, no more hugging and no more Joy.  

The first year they lived at Morning Star, my dad was ready daily to leave what he called the program.  We assured him that he was there to support mom, but really he was there because he needed it too.  His mind was slipping and his memory was fading.  I have accepted my mom's diagnosis, but it is a lot harder to accept my dads.  I ask god daily for strength to accept this season of my life.  From cancer to Alzheimers, I am ready for a new season.

My Joy this year was finding out Drew and Hannah will welcome their first child, our first grandchild in April.  I am over the top excited for them.  My heart is full and I can't wait to welcome Kinsley into the family.

Joy...such a small word with such a big meaning.  I am so glad I am finding it this year.